letters to my children

My Dearest Little Kuya Giann,

Mum will be honest. I'm worried about leaving you for days but I know you'll be a good boy. Mum will definitely miss you and I know you're going to miss me too but promise me you won't give your lola, ninang, kuya and the maids a hard time, okay?

I will be back soon! With a bonus baby sister for you! :P You may not really be thrilled with her arrival but we'll get there. You're a smart, sweet, very beautiful little kuya and I love you very much. Know that a new baby will not lessen my love for you. Mum actually looks forward to raising Baby Red with you. :)

Make mum proud Kuya Giann! Patiently wait for me like the real, smart, good little Kuya that you are! ;)

I love you. I'll see you soon! 

---

My Dearest Baby Girl,

I wish I have the best words to tell you how anxious and excited I am to finally see you! Mum will not lie, I am very very very nervous too (that we cried more than once yesterday just thinking about the BIG day!) but we're strong, we'll be fine. :)

Conceiving you may not be as breezy as conceiving your Kuya but I want you to know that it never lessened the joy, love, and anticipation I'm feeling knowing that I'm going to have you. I actually can't wait to hold your tiny, fragile little body while imagining how cute you'd be in pink dresses! :P

We're off to the hospital in a few hours. Mum will yet again undergo painful, annoying medical procedures before having you but much as I'm scared, I will take them like a real woman for they bring me steps closer to finally meeting you.

Mum is really nervous! You must be too. But no worries love, we'll be fine. We have your lola's strength! We're strong and beautiful and we're gonna rock St. Luke's! ;)

Daddy and Kuya Giann will be waiting for us, we should come home soon. 

I love you.

xoxo 

March 28, 2009

That's Renei Danielle T. Ambayec's birth date! :)

I'd be admitted at the hospital on the night of the 27th because I need to undergo some medical procedures before the big D-day. My official delivery date and time - March 28, 2009 8:00 AM.

Yes, double 8 for luck! Even mum agrees! :P

Anyway, I CAN'T BELIEVE I AM GIVING BIRTH 10 DAYS FROM NOW! It might be the second time but hell I'm nervous! I won't be completely sedated this time! I'm going to see them cut me! *faints*

OH GOD.

---

In other news, Giann's earned his first bruise 2 days ago:


Yes, EARNED because I think being bruised isn't so bad. ;) Makes my little soldier tougher and stronger! And mind you, he didn't cry when he fell on his knees. I was so proud haha. His maid was so worried - she was so concerned about Giann's little bruise when she showed it to me. I was like, "ahh, he's a kid! he's a boy! of course he'd run all around and get bruised!" Let Giann be a little boy. Let him be rowdy and tough and naughty! We already have a reserved, timid Daddy! :P

---

I MIGHT go on a swimming outing on Saturday. I have not fully convinced myself to go but Pau won't go without me. And I know he wants to go! All of our friends are going. And after I give birth, Pau won't get to go out cause he will spend most of his days taking care of me and Giann (he won't take care of an infant!) so I really want him to go to this swimming party. But I don't want to go because it would be the first time I'm going to spend the night without Giann, I'm not sure I'd be able to sleep without my little bub. And I'd be the only girl in that party. Not that it matters nor I care but yeah. Also, I won't get to swim anyway! I don't know if I'm still allowed to as I'm going to give birth 5 days from then so any strenuous activity might induce labour. And I don't want to go through labour! NOT AGAIN! But I want to go for Pau. Ahhhh.

Oh well, the party isn't 100% all planned out anyway. Because an all-boys organising a party is GOOD LUCK. Haha. Nobody takes initiative! :P

---

Pau and I are thinking of creating Myspace accounts. Haha. It crossed our minds after stumbling upon Steve Burns (of Blues' Clues) Myspace profile. :P

But yeah, probably not.

xoxo

"foreigner ba asawa mo?"

I get that question A HELL LOT! Even my mum gets asked about my husband too! "Foreigner ba napangasawa ng anak mo?" And my silly mum would sometimes joke, "Oo, British." Hahaha.

One of the teachers asked me that question (yet again!) on MSN a little while ago:

12/18/2008		7:47:51 PM		jigu_pm6@hotmail.com		Yeng		foreigner b asawa mo ang cute na baby mu eh
12/18/2008		7:47:58 PM		Yeng		jigu_pm6@hotmail.com		hahaha
12/18/2008		7:48:04 PM		jigu_pm6@hotmail.com		Yeng		^^
12/18/2008		7:48:07 PM		Yeng		jigu_pm6@hotmail.com		hindi :P
12/18/2008		7:48:18 PM		jigu_pm6@hotmail.com		Yeng		bkit tisoy ang baby mu? hehe
12/18/2008		7:48:25 PM		jigu_pm6@hotmail.com		Yeng		eh s pic mukha k naman chinese
12/18/2008		7:48:28 PM		Yeng		jigu_pm6@hotmail.com		tisoy ang daddy nya :P
12/18/2008		7:48:28 PM		jigu_pm6@hotmail.com		Yeng		hehehe
12/18/2008		7:48:32 PM		jigu_pm6@hotmail.com		Yeng		wow
12/18/2008		7:48:34 PM		Yeng		jigu_pm6@hotmail.com		hahaha

So I told Pau about him being "tisoy" and OMG the pressure on him HAHA.

It's funny though. Giann has brown hair. And to a certain extent, he really doesn't look very Filipino. He's so adorable! :D

You should see him when he's playing with the other kids in this street. He literally, amazingly stands out. His skin and hair colour look amazing especially with the sun. And yes, I am one hell of a proud mother! :)

xoxo

love love love!

My boys (Kuya Baby Giann and Kuya Tito EJ) playing on a Saturday morning :)

xoxo

I'M HOME! :D

So I'm here in our condo because I attended a meeting with the other teachers of this company I now "work" for. "Work" because I don't really work for them, and talking to someone in english for like 10-20 minutes is something I don't consider as work. ;) But it's good. I get half as much as I used to when I was still with The Firm and I only work 4 hours a day (only 3 hours if we don't count the breaks in between) so if I'll work for like 8 hours, I'd get just as much as I used to without having to commute every day for long hours, inhale the fumes of the doomed building and be all stressed out. Plus I get to be with Giann all the time! (except the 4 hours that I need to be on Skype) It's a pretty good deal. ;) My blood pressure's controlled now ever since I stopped working for The Firm. I'm not kidding.

Anyway, I was a little worried to leave Giann here at first because I was afraid that he'd throw tantrums and all but I came home from the meeting and I saw my giggling little bub playing with his Kuya EJ! Even my mum was ecstatic to see them playing because they were giggling and laughing and running! :)

---

I told my mum about Giann being all clingy to me and all she said was, "hay mahihirapan ka pag nanganak ka na..." but just that! She didn't say, "mali ka kasi...blah blah blah." I love how cool she is. How she doesn't underestimate me as a mother, how she continually reminds me of certain things but still letting me be in control and how she knows when to let me go and when to pull me back. She's the bestest. EVER. I'd be quick to admit that I can't top her!

---

I'm wearing my new Dorothy Perkins' mini dress and Giann spoilt it with chocolate. Haha. And it seemed like he knew that he did something wrong because he looked at me almost crying and I was like, "I'm not mad. It's just a dress. I love you more." Then he rubbed his chocolate-stained face on my dress, spoiling it even more. Hahaha.

xoxo

bad news, sad news and amusing news

BAD NEWS

I did a major booboo at work. I sent an e-mail to over 600 clients saying that we're holding a seminar for free when in fact, we're charging Php1,250 per attendee. It was a miscommunication. I know I'm supposed to be good at communication but I lose it especially when I've heaps of concern that I need to attend to.

So tomorrow, the COO is going to meet with me and my boss. According to his secretary, he's terribly upset. I know I would be too! "WTF WERE YOU THINKING YENG?! FREE?!" Okay, so maybe he won't lose it like that but I'm still royally screwed. Oh well. It was MY mistake. And I'm sorry about it. Too bad sorry doesn't always make up for it, yeah?

This is actually the first time EVER that I wish I'm still working for the family. Because then, I can fuck up big time and the worst my auntie could do is tell my dad. Then I can just smile/pout (whichever works) at my dad and say, "she's too much!" (and he knows that she really is).

I really don't mean the previous paragraph, you know. I don't want to work for the family ever again. That even if I get it my way with the family - tardy everyday, do AWOL, come to work in flip-flops (HEAVEN! :P), and chat the day away on YM and MSN! I was a terrible "employee" but she was the worst "employer" so we're even. ;)

ZOMG wish me luck tomorrow. I badly need it.

---

ANOTHER BAD NEWS

One of our maids (and cook) is leaving. After 24 years of serving this family. Well actually, she's already left since almost a month ago. But we thought she's coming back as soon as she's able to attend to whatever pressing family issues they have back in their province. That's what we all thought. Until one of the maids (and her sister) said that she has no plan to go back anymore. I was astonished. It's going to be a very big problem for this house.

---

SAD NEWS

You know your child is a big little boy already when he doesn't want you to rock him to sleep anymore. :( Before he wouldn't sleep if I don't rock him to sleep while singing a lullaby. Now, I carry him and he wants to be put down! What he does is that he'll try to hug me while he puts himself to sleep but his little arms cannot reach me yet. So he makes sure his body touches mine to make it up to the "cannot hug you yet mum" problem.

I really dunno if this is a "sad" news. Giann's growing up, that's normal. And actually, that's good. But I guess, I'm just not yet ready to let him go, no matter how slowly the process goes.

---

SOMEWHAT AMUSING NEWS

I noticed that Giann's boxes of toys are neatly stacked in one place and so are our unused wedding gifts. So I asked Pau, "wow, who cleaned our room today? See how neat and proper everything looks now. I've always wanted to ask them to do that." And he didn't even look at me but he was like, "what? cleaned what? no one? I don't know." I was surprised, "wow you spend the WHOLE day inside this room and you don't even notice a single change in this room when it happens!" I think it's amusing how he cannot care like that. Or how unnoticeable everything is for him as long as they have nothing to do with his computer. Or maybe, I am just annoyingly observant. But I'm betting that's it's more because he's heavily fixated on his computer. :P He's not too bad though.

xoxo

he makes my world go round!

My son is such a masterpiece! :)

The A's

of dinners and 4D ultrasounds

Dear Pol, Gill & Hana,

I'm sorry I missed tonight's dinner. But it's a Tuesday night! Tuesdays nights are movie/DVD nights with Pau! Because as I've told you, every Tuesday (well, MOST Tuesdays) is WoW maintenance day. All servers are down ergo I have Pau's attention all to myself. :P And you know we all need attention, yeah Hana? ;)

So next time. :) Which means Pol, treat us again next time OMG!!! :P

Love,
the not so Dora Dora Dora the Explorer (ay ay!) anymore

---

One thing I like about provincial buses are the TVs. Makes the looong way home a bit bearable and semi-entertaining (because it actually isn't when Gaano Kadalas ang Minsan is running, yeah Ivor? :P). On my way home tonight the TV was tuned in to this TV show "Moms" and they were featuring 4D ultrasound! And I was transported back to the day when I was 8 months pregnant with Giann - I was with Pau inside St. Luke's Women's Healthcare Center, waiting for the nurse to finally announce "Ambayec, Ann Millaine" so I can finally see the little boy inside my tummy on 4D! And then finally my turn came, I nervously laid down on the cold bed, put my preggy shorts down, and actually felt like fainting when the device (whatever they scientifically call it) started roaming my naked tummy. "Mommy, nakatakip po yung kamay ni baby sa face nya." I swear my heartbeat almost stopped. "Ha? bakit? Okay lang ba siya?" "Opo, pero nakatakip po yung kamay niya sa mukha niya so hindi natin sha ma44D..." I looked at the monitor and I saw half of the face of the most handsome little guy ever! One doctor suggested, "Mommy kumain po muna kayo, something sweet or take very little caffeine to stimulate the baby. Baka gumalaw sha. Balik kayo after an hour."

So Pau and I went straight to Burger King. I had their Hershey's pie whatever and sipped Coke for the first time after 8 months! I also held my tummy the entire time and talked to Giann, "baby, show yourself to mommy please. This will be your first photo ever, don't be shy!"

After an hour of "stimulating" Giann, we came back to see if Giann's moved already but nope, he hasn't. Well, he did. But he just switched positions. His hand was still blocking his cute face! So finally the doctor said, "Mommy, mukhang ayaw talaga ni baby magpakita, next time na lang po."

I came out of the ultrasound room with tears streaming down my face. I was crying like hell. I couldn't speak, I just kept on crying. I was disappointed. Until Pau said, "okay lang yun, at least alam natin na normal si Giann. Wala shang complications at healthy siya db?"

Then I realised how much of a bitch I was. Pau's right. It didn't matter if we weren't able to capture Giann on 4D when he was still inside my tummy. All that matters is that he's healthy and that we're having him in a month's time!

I admit I still didn't stop crying until we got home. But after that night I came to appreciate the little boy inside my tummy more (if that's still possible because I love him more than myself).

Until now, in most days, Giann is still the same snub as he was when he was still inside my tummy. Haha. Let's blame his Y-chromosome for that. :P

xoxo

best day ever photos! :)

Happy birthday Giann!

Giann doesn't care about the camera. He only wants to look at Barney! :P

Kids! *cough* haha

Cake and loot bags

The girl-Barney doing a magic trick

Ate and EJ enjoying the magic show

Giann with (L-R) Ninong Mac, Ninong Markus, Tito Bing, Tito Lyndon, Tito Fonz and Ninong Mcnaire

EJ decided to wear something very "corporate" :P he's still uber cute though :) Giann with Lola Mummy Lhai and Kuya EJ

Giann loves Mac's younger brother Mikee!

Time to blow the candle! :)

Giann's loots!

a basketball, a walker-"car" and a learning laptop

all opened :)

The birthday boy opening his gift

Amazed by the talking-singing Baby Tad! :D

This toy is uber loud I swear.

Little basketball for my little bub :) It cheers when he shoots a ball

Thanks Panoncillo family for this cutie gift! ♥

The end.

*photos taken using Diane's cam and Pau's phone. I've yet to ask everyone for the photos they took so more photos to come!*

xoxo

I love you

Exactly 1 year ago today I had you.

And from that day on, I had never let you go.

I never believed in love at first sight.

Until this day:

See, I have never really considered my self a "good" person. But now I know I did something VERY OUTSTANDINGLY right some time in my life. I should have. Because I was blessed with you.

You are the GRANDEST blessing I ever EVER received.

Happy 1st birthday Giann. :)

Thank you for the past 12 months filled with anticipation, anxiety, stress, patience, bliss, love and lessons.

Thank you for completing me.

Love,
mum

---

Good night all! :)

xoxo

the only one worth it.

How tired I am. BUT. Giann's worth it. :)

I will post photos tomorrow or whenever Pau decides to let me use his PC. This PC's USB hub is screwed. So yeah.

Thankyou thankyou thankyou to all those who attended Giann's birthday party! Even if the birthday boy spent most of the time clinging on to his mum and snubbing everyone. :P

Man, I am tired. I should rest now. Big day tomorrow (work) plus I need to re-arrange our closets to make way for Giann's UBER plenty toys and clothes! I'll show you his loot next time. They're overwhelming. :)

---

Pau answered the question "When are you online?/When are you available to play?" (on his WoW character) with "I'm online everyday. From 9am-1am, +8GMT." I read it, was not really surprised and teased him, "wow, you have NO life." He laughed.

Pretty amusing.

I remember asking him before, "if I leave you, what do you think will happen to you? What would you do?"

"Nothing. Just play WoW the whole day?"

"Ah. Very productive."

---

So sleepy but waiting for time! :D

P.S. Let's all hope Pau lets me upload photos soon omg!

xoxo

abusing The Bee! :P

While most kids cry when they see a mascot, it's a different story with Giann!

Look at me Jollibee!

Photo op with Jollibee!

The Bee doing the "worm" dance. Hahaha.

Kissing Jollibee :)

He's afraid of the OTHER bee though...His Ninong Tito Kim! :P

He is my soldier. ;)

*photos taken at JC's 3rd birthday party*

xoxo

1st haircut!

My poor little bub calling for his mum!

Mum and a lollipop pacified him. :)

It's his first time to ever eat a lollipop too! :P

All done but he didn't want to be put down

So dad amused him with balls hanging from the ceiling

Viola! ;)

BUT YOU HAVE TO AGREE THAT HE STILL LOOKS TOO DAMN CUTE EVEN WITH MESSY, LONG HAIR:

MY ADORABLE GIANN - 3 days before his 1st haircut! :) (with his camera-shy maid)

xoxo

happy/sad

Pau's out for the night ergo I have the internet connection all to myself. But I am not really thrilled. I prefer he's home. Doesn't matter if he does nothing but sit in front of his computer. I just want him here. This house gets ultimately depressing without Pau. After all, he's the reason why I'm here so him not being here is just... weird. And lonely. I look at the sleeping Giann beside me and all I want to do is pack all our things and go home. Pau should get back soon or I'll lose my mind here omg.

---

Anyway... On to happier things!

YOU'RE ALL INVITED TO ATTEND THE GRANDEST 1st BIRTHDAY OF ALL TIME!

I know I've already established this fact looong ago but: ISN'T GIANN THE CUTEST LITTLE GUY EVER! He's gotten so big now it's amazing. :)

Thanks "Auntie" Gill for the invitation! Do the pig! Do the pig! Hahaha. :P

---

Speaking of Gill.

Gill is 1/4 Chinese, 1/4 Japanese, 1/4 Korean and 1/4 Taiwanese! Yeah, she's confused like that. Hehe. :P


But I love her nonetheless. :)

Hana sans her uber expensive glasses! :P

---

No fridaysfeast for today boo.

Hmm. Then playing WoW I shall. ;)

Laters.

♥

xoxo

so what happened?

Our friggin router's been screwed since a week ago and of course Pau thought he needs internet connection more than I do, therefore the DSL is connected straight to his PC. Well, actually he really NEEDS internet more. He'd die without it!

But then last night, Pau's PC won't turn on yet again. Ergo, Yeng wins! Haha. I have internet connection now yay! Poor Pau and lucky, lucky Yeng. :P

I've been very very busy with work and organising Giann's first birthday party. I was wrong when I thought that after signing a contract with T.G.I.Friday's and paying the down payment, everything's already settled. But mygod now I have invitations, cake, cupcakes, game prizes and loot bags to worry about! Also driving me insane is thinking and re-thinking (over and over) what my little bub will wear on his very special day! I'd be lying if I say that organising Giann's party doesn't make me go gaga because hell it does! But it's one of those things that make me crazy and I'm so loving it. :)

Oh on a very sad note:

I will miss this retro guy! :(

---

Last night I was so tired and feeling really really weak, I landed on my butt! RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE WHOLE SAN PEDRO MARKET! And they were like, "ooooh!!!" I didn't know whether to laugh or cry or die of embarrassment. Haha.

---

The soon-to-be birthday boy is sick too! With another viral infection plus coughs. :( You know what they say about someone always getting sick when it's just weeks before his birthday? Could be true for Giann. Or maybe, he's just really too young to fight all the bacteria and viruses in his environment. :(

---

Alrighty time to put Giann to sleep now. :)

xoxo

prinsipe.

PMS makes me lethargic. That's my excuse for missing my blog for days. See, I'm so lazy I don't even bother to check when was the last time I've been here.

Anyways. Let's talk about the most important person in my life.

GIANN! :D

What has he been up to lately?

Well, my little big boy can now sit on his own. *beams* One minute he's lying on his back and the next minute he's already in a sitting position, playing with his toys or trying to stand. :P

He can now do the "apir" and "align" gestures! Haha.

He can now act "angry" and will go like, "Hrrrrm!!!" complete with facial expression when we say, "Angry Giann!" :P

He now shakes his ENTIRE body when he means "I don't like!" He's too cute, I swear!

He now cries or semi-cries when I leave for work every morning. :( And extends his arms towards me when I hand him to his maid.

He now knows how to clap his hands! :D Thanks to Barney's "If You're Happy and You Know It" song!

He now appreciates TV ads.

He can stand on his own now! But only for good seconds until he lands on his ass! :P

MY LITTLE GUY IS SO BEAUTIFUL. :)

And he's my most precious. ♥

Love,
the proud super mum

weekends

Saturday was spent with my siblings in an anime convention. It felt like I was transported to another Universe - one where 'people' wear funny-looking clothes, sport striking coloured hair and carry funny accessories and 'weapons'. I jokingly announced, "wow I think I'm under dressed." And Pau was like, "Para tayong nasa mental hospital." Hahaha. His tongue is sharper than mine! :P

Shobe dressed as someone from Prince of Tennis

Someone dressed as... beats me!

I told you I was under dressed!

Go girlaloo! :P

Is Mask Rider Black actually anime? Hmm.

Saturday night was spent being honest.

Sunday was spent with Pau and Giann for foot spa + pedicure + manicure day! Giann decided to eat, tear all the magazines his maid amused him with. He also decided to “destroy” the fake plant display and put some of its leaves in his mouth. Then he screamed and whined gazillion times! He’s a brat in the making, I can tell! :P Despite that, I still think he’s a cutie. ;)

I slept around 8:00 PM Sunday night. Bad migraine.

Today was not so great either. I slept the whole ride to the office because of severe migraine. I almost missed the street where I get off. I look really lousy and I feel sick.

To top it all off, the heel of my left shoe decided to do a “Mentos” on me. Hahaha. I wanted to pull the other pair’s heel off too but I friggin couldn’t. It’s a mystery to me why the left heel was so disentangled while the right one was so screwed. I mean not like I’m hopping on my left foot from one place to the other! But anyways, thankyouveryVERYmuch Pol for offering to buy a mighty bond for my shoe. Hahaha. Jologs at its finest. :P But see, it is the Universe’s way of handing a sign. I am so buying the ZARA ballet flats I’ve been eyeing since last month. :)

Good night world.

P.S. Our boss (of all people) sent us an e-mail about the earthquake in China and it tore my heart apart. :(

xoxo