before I call it a night

YAY!

xoxo

weeee

GUESS WHO'S EXPECTING A BLESSING?!

No, not me. I won't be pregnant again until my two boys (Pau and Giann) are all grown-up already! (and until I'm out of here)

MY ATE MICH IS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yay yay yay! ♥

I'm gonna have a niece/nephew! Giann's gonna have a cousin!!!

Happiness.

Let's all pray for my Ate and for the little bub inside her tummy. :)

WEEE!

I know Ate's going to be a wonderful mother. She's an "Ate" - she took (takes) care of her 3 younger, annoying, spoilt siblings! :P AHH I'M EXCITED FOR HER!!!

Ate, time for morning sickness (the only not-so-nice part of pregnancy - in my opinion), weight-gaining, food-and-Kuya-Jay-Ar-craving, anticipation, anxiety and baby bump!

Pregnancy is one of the most beautiful and wonderful experience a woman would ever go through, really. :)

xoxo

I LOVE YOU ERASERHEADS

ZOMG ZOMG ZOMG!!!

I missed the concert of the year!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :(

The reunion of the hottest HOTTEST Filipino band to ever walk on earth!!!

I was so busy being sick I didn't realise it's tonight!!! I was thinking it won't be until the first week of September or so because tickets weren't available until Thursday, August 28th.

Huhuhu.

I LOVE YOU ERASERHEADS!!!

So Pau and I are like super dee duper duper duper sad and disappointed now.

You know I don't like going to concerts. But I'll definitely make an exception for my most favourite local band of all time.

But huhu. As I'm typing this now, Ely might be crooning "Huling El Bimbo" already!!! WAAAAH.

SOBS. SOBS. SOBS.

terrible

Yesterday was unbelievably okay. The COO did not bite my head off. My boss was surprisingly on my side; and a little testimony from Gill then I was redeemed. It's not like I'm the ONLY one to blame anyways. But I'm sure Tax peeps still want to cut me to pieces! All I can say: staff is NOT synonymous to client. They're just totally different. Enough said.

---

I didn't get ANY sleep last night. Stupid Meralco decided to cut our electricity from 11:30 PM to 6:30 AM. I had to fan Giann to sleep the entire time. I'm not kidding. The ENTIRE time. I wanted to take refuge in a hotel again but Pau didn't want to drive at 2:30 AM. He's too sleepy.

---

So I'm going on a terribly sick hiatus again. It's been 2 weeks and I'm still sick as ever. :(

See you when I get better!

xoxo

bad news, sad news and amusing news

BAD NEWS

I did a major booboo at work. I sent an e-mail to over 600 clients saying that we're holding a seminar for free when in fact, we're charging Php1,250 per attendee. It was a miscommunication. I know I'm supposed to be good at communication but I lose it especially when I've heaps of concern that I need to attend to.

So tomorrow, the COO is going to meet with me and my boss. According to his secretary, he's terribly upset. I know I would be too! "WTF WERE YOU THINKING YENG?! FREE?!" Okay, so maybe he won't lose it like that but I'm still royally screwed. Oh well. It was MY mistake. And I'm sorry about it. Too bad sorry doesn't always make up for it, yeah?

This is actually the first time EVER that I wish I'm still working for the family. Because then, I can fuck up big time and the worst my auntie could do is tell my dad. Then I can just smile/pout (whichever works) at my dad and say, "she's too much!" (and he knows that she really is).

I really don't mean the previous paragraph, you know. I don't want to work for the family ever again. That even if I get it my way with the family - tardy everyday, do AWOL, come to work in flip-flops (HEAVEN! :P), and chat the day away on YM and MSN! I was a terrible "employee" but she was the worst "employer" so we're even. ;)

ZOMG wish me luck tomorrow. I badly need it.

---

ANOTHER BAD NEWS

One of our maids (and cook) is leaving. After 24 years of serving this family. Well actually, she's already left since almost a month ago. But we thought she's coming back as soon as she's able to attend to whatever pressing family issues they have back in their province. That's what we all thought. Until one of the maids (and her sister) said that she has no plan to go back anymore. I was astonished. It's going to be a very big problem for this house.

---

SAD NEWS

You know your child is a big little boy already when he doesn't want you to rock him to sleep anymore. :( Before he wouldn't sleep if I don't rock him to sleep while singing a lullaby. Now, I carry him and he wants to be put down! What he does is that he'll try to hug me while he puts himself to sleep but his little arms cannot reach me yet. So he makes sure his body touches mine to make it up to the "cannot hug you yet mum" problem.

I really dunno if this is a "sad" news. Giann's growing up, that's normal. And actually, that's good. But I guess, I'm just not yet ready to let him go, no matter how slowly the process goes.

---

SOMEWHAT AMUSING NEWS

I noticed that Giann's boxes of toys are neatly stacked in one place and so are our unused wedding gifts. So I asked Pau, "wow, who cleaned our room today? See how neat and proper everything looks now. I've always wanted to ask them to do that." And he didn't even look at me but he was like, "what? cleaned what? no one? I don't know." I was surprised, "wow you spend the WHOLE day inside this room and you don't even notice a single change in this room when it happens!" I think it's amusing how he cannot care like that. Or how unnoticeable everything is for him as long as they have nothing to do with his computer. Or maybe, I am just annoyingly observant. But I'm betting that's it's more because he's heavily fixated on his computer. :P He's not too bad though.

xoxo

waah

I hate that I am sick.

But I hate it more that Giann is sick because of me. :(

But he just won't let me go.

Poor little bub.

*sobs*

xoxo

who's crying?

I'm so sick that every time I talk to Pau he's like, "umiiyak ka ba?" And each and every time I would look at him as if he's gone crazy, "why would I cry?"

There's nothing to cry about.

I'm done with crying.

Until I dream again. Which thank God has not happened since... eons ago. Well, okay that's a lie. But who cares.

---

There are hearsays that there will be massive blackout in San Pedro again! From 11:00 PM to 6:00 AM AGAIN.

Why the hell do they (Meralco) have to do whatever it is they will do when I'm sick? :( And need to wake up early and should be all better tomorrow. I hate you Meralco. May you burn in hell. Okay, maybe not. But I hate you still.

xoxo

he makes my world go round!

My son is such a masterpiece! :)

The A's

don't mess with the world :)

I really should be sleeping but I couldn't. I have terrible colds, cough and my throat hurts like shit.

Another reason is we just finished watching You Don't Mess with the Zohan on DVD. And yes it's pirated, what are you thinking? :P The movie is funny, as expected. It's not an A-list movie. It's not wow. I think it's a satirical commentary more than anything.

What does it have to say?

The terrorists are not really who you think they are. Sure they could be Arabs, Muslims, Palestinians, Lebanese, Israelis, even Filipinos. But most of the time, it is just who you hail as "hero." And sometimes, this "saviour" is the REAL reason for war and terrorism. And most of the time, they trick everyone into believing there's a need for war to fight "terrorism" but really to sneak their hidden agenda just when the entire world is panicking and in chaos. And that to fight the REAL terrorist, we should take a stand TOGETHER, to fight on one side for one cause.

Ah Adam Sandler you're a funny dude (at least Pau thinks so because honestly, I don't care about you). And you're a friggin genius (in as far as this political satire is concerned that is).

Although you end the story in such an ironic manner. To show peace and brotherhood by building a "community" mall, the icon of capitalism. Please read more Pop Culture books. And more friggin Mariah friggin Carey, please. Yeah I don't like her.

P.S. You can blame my Film Criticism professor in college and Pop Culture professor in Master's Degree for what I've just written. Then again, not really. ;) And of course I am biased. :P

xoxo

of dinners and 4D ultrasounds

Dear Pol, Gill & Hana,

I'm sorry I missed tonight's dinner. But it's a Tuesday night! Tuesdays nights are movie/DVD nights with Pau! Because as I've told you, every Tuesday (well, MOST Tuesdays) is WoW maintenance day. All servers are down ergo I have Pau's attention all to myself. :P And you know we all need attention, yeah Hana? ;)

So next time. :) Which means Pol, treat us again next time OMG!!! :P

Love,
the not so Dora Dora Dora the Explorer (ay ay!) anymore

---

One thing I like about provincial buses are the TVs. Makes the looong way home a bit bearable and semi-entertaining (because it actually isn't when Gaano Kadalas ang Minsan is running, yeah Ivor? :P). On my way home tonight the TV was tuned in to this TV show "Moms" and they were featuring 4D ultrasound! And I was transported back to the day when I was 8 months pregnant with Giann - I was with Pau inside St. Luke's Women's Healthcare Center, waiting for the nurse to finally announce "Ambayec, Ann Millaine" so I can finally see the little boy inside my tummy on 4D! And then finally my turn came, I nervously laid down on the cold bed, put my preggy shorts down, and actually felt like fainting when the device (whatever they scientifically call it) started roaming my naked tummy. "Mommy, nakatakip po yung kamay ni baby sa face nya." I swear my heartbeat almost stopped. "Ha? bakit? Okay lang ba siya?" "Opo, pero nakatakip po yung kamay niya sa mukha niya so hindi natin sha ma44D..." I looked at the monitor and I saw half of the face of the most handsome little guy ever! One doctor suggested, "Mommy kumain po muna kayo, something sweet or take very little caffeine to stimulate the baby. Baka gumalaw sha. Balik kayo after an hour."

So Pau and I went straight to Burger King. I had their Hershey's pie whatever and sipped Coke for the first time after 8 months! I also held my tummy the entire time and talked to Giann, "baby, show yourself to mommy please. This will be your first photo ever, don't be shy!"

After an hour of "stimulating" Giann, we came back to see if Giann's moved already but nope, he hasn't. Well, he did. But he just switched positions. His hand was still blocking his cute face! So finally the doctor said, "Mommy, mukhang ayaw talaga ni baby magpakita, next time na lang po."

I came out of the ultrasound room with tears streaming down my face. I was crying like hell. I couldn't speak, I just kept on crying. I was disappointed. Until Pau said, "okay lang yun, at least alam natin na normal si Giann. Wala shang complications at healthy siya db?"

Then I realised how much of a bitch I was. Pau's right. It didn't matter if we weren't able to capture Giann on 4D when he was still inside my tummy. All that matters is that he's healthy and that we're having him in a month's time!

I admit I still didn't stop crying until we got home. But after that night I came to appreciate the little boy inside my tummy more (if that's still possible because I love him more than myself).

Until now, in most days, Giann is still the same snub as he was when he was still inside my tummy. Haha. Let's blame his Y-chromosome for that. :P

xoxo

he's a father!

Pau put Giann to sleep last night. Without me asking him!

It took him one year. But it's well worth the wait. :)

xoxo

how I love/hate Nietzsche

From this day forward:

♥ I will take it like a real girl. Someone I deeply care about is hostile to me. Living here is not nice. I will suck it up and take it like a girl. I'll chalk them up to the "not-so-outstanding-results-of-my-decisions" category. And really, there are bazillion other things worse than these.

♥ I will cherish Pau more. He once said, "he'll never find another Yeng." (he = a friend looking for love) And the truth is, I'll never find another Pau too. :)

♥ I will TRY to stop hating being here. Because like, complaining does nothing but trouble me more. TRY is the mega-multi-billionaire keyword there.

♥ I will stop wishing for things that will probably never happen. Or has come and gone already. Enough said.

♥ I will save more money. Because in two words: Pau and Giann.

♥ I will slow down and appreciate.

Okay I should stop now. I've listed one too many things I might lose track of them. :P I am not really a big fan of "resolutions" especially the ones you write for the new year. But screw it, it's not a new year! And this list is more like personal promises more than anything. So yeah.

---

Pau has such a silly (in a nice way) plan for Giann.

"Giann, when you're big enough to appreciate, say like when 3 or 4, I will take you to a jeepney/tricycle/train ride! Just so you experience how it's like to ride public transportation."

Made me smile.

xoxo

my other big little bub!

Mummy "Dishia" loves you soooo much! :)

xoxo

something from my mail #2

I have not logged on my Gmail for...months. I have avoided it for so long because I was too much of a chicken shit to face it. And of course you cannot relate! But anyways, I checked my mail for the first time after forever and saw this:

WHO WANTS TO FLY WITH ME?! :)

xoxo

there's something about letters

Dear you,

Do not threaten him. Do not take the ONLY thing he's here for. Believe me, when you do, I'd throw a party! So don't threaten him, you've got EVERYTHING TO LOSE. ;)

But really, OMG please do! :P And don't just say it, do it do it do it!

LOL.

love,
me

---

It's safe to assume I didn't force myself to go clubbing tonight. NOT EVER actually. Plus, Pau didn't want to go. And Mac's out for a monthsary celeb so he can't come too. So Pau and I just watched Mummy 3. Brendan Fraser's son in the movie is kind of cute. But not too cute I didn't even bother to find out what his name is. :P

Speaking of movies, we watched Hancock a couple of weeks ago and I went out of the movie theatre all confused and depressed. How can you ever be "made for someone" and CANNOT be with that someone? Like seriously? How can you ever live your life with someone else knowing that someone out there is THE one for you? :(

Stupid plot.

xoxo

QLC is BS.

Dear Ate Mich,

First of, I hate that you have disabled your comment box. Secondly, we're made of sugar and spice, tough and special stuff, you will handle. ;)

Then again, what do you say let's run away from it all? Go to Timbuktu or somewhere really exotic! As long as we take Giann, I'm game! :P

These too shall pass. THESE because believe me, you're not alone.

*hugs*

boohoo

1. If I could travel back in time, I'd go to the (one of the) HAPPIEST parts of my life.

2. Give me a Reese's peanut butter cups or give me a cheesecake/cupcake. YUM! Haha.

3. I am listening to Giann's lullabies.

4. Somewhere, someone is thinking of you? or me? or us? :P

5. I'll always be YOUNG!

6. My idea of a good time includes deep, meaningful conversation with someone I love/care about or someone wise - over coffee or scrumptious dinner! I'm boring like that.

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I’m looking forward to playing my not-so-cute tauren shaman; tomorrow my plans include I should hit the club with old high school friends (a batch ahead of me) but I hate clubs so... whatever, no definite plans yet; and Sunday, I want to be lazy!

xoxo