upside down!

This ultimately made up for my super bad yesterday:

I lie awake and watch your shoulders
move so softly as you breath
with every breath
you're growing older
but that is fine if you're with me
I pledge to wake you with a smile
I pledge to hold you when you cry
I pledge to love you until I die

Yay! ♥ Best ever. EVER.

xoxo

working mum

So I am here at the office. It’s lunch time so I can surf. :P I must say I’m doing fine. Good actually. :) And I just called the maid and found out that my little boy is sleeping. I am relieved. Also, a text message from Pau (and Giann :P) helped a great deal. Thanks daddy and baby! :)

My officemates are as nice as officemates can get. We just went through the whole “lunch-together-let’s-talk-about-the-newbie” session. :P It was… relieving and refreshing in some way. I also like one of Honda’s Central HR, Ms. K is super nice! She’s also a Kulasa! Figures! :P Haha.

It feels good to be working again. Although hmm… I know I have yet to experience “real" work in a few weeks, I am not appalled. I say bring it on! ;)

P.S. I do miss Giann but I know I should not worry too much.

Love,
the working super mum

happy/sad

Tomorrow I am beginning a new life yet again. I will be part of the corporate world after missing it for more than a year. My heart hasn't been fully convinced that it is the right thing to do. I only have one reason: Giann. I know that starting tomorrow, I will miss most parts of his infancy. I will leave the house while he's sleeping and go home when he's already asleep. That routine for 5 straight days of the week. That thought alone makes me cry. I will miss giving Giann a bath and his giggles when I pour lukewarm water on his body. I will miss sleeping with him on my chest at noon. I am not very much comfortable with the fact that I will leave him to the maid. That even if it's the same maid that raised his father. Because I want to be the one who's there for him, not someone who's paid to do so. And because, Pau and Giann, although they are father-son are two different people. Very different to some extent, actually. So yeah.

I've always believed I am not made for house work. Therefore I cannot be a house wife. I don't know how I can reconcile that with the fact that I just want to stay at home for Giann. Only until after his formative stage. Then of course I want to be productive as a person. :)

But I am given this opportunity now, and I don't want to pass on it anymore. I want to raise Giann alright. And I realised that raising him also means providing for his needs, financially speaking. Of course there's Pau's mum and my ever loving and supportive parents but Giann is MY son, not theirs. Over and above anyone, he is MY responsibility. And as I've said before, one thing having Giann taught me is how to be responsible and mature.

I know Giann will be fine. I'm sure he'd be a good boy even without me to look after him most of the time. One thing that gives me hope is Mama and how she's always been a working mum but has never been less of a mother for us. If she's done (and still doing it) for more than 25 years, I know I can too. After all, she raised me. I'd like to believe I've been endowed with her strength if only a little. :P Also, I choose to believe that dad is right when he said, "mas maalagaan mo si Giann kapag may work ka na." It doesn't make perfect sense. But it does make sense. :)

I am still worried that's the truth. And I am fighting back tears as I write this. But I am mother and I am strong. :) Giann will be fine. And I know I will be too. :)

P.S. I cannot deny that I am kind of excited to work again though.

---

Happy happy birthday to my most favourite and loved cousin, Kuya Kim! :)

I love you!

xoxo

hmm...

So this is "convenience." How alien this feeling is to me.

I'd choose inconvenience anytime.

But probably not tonight.

Maybe.

A's

So what have we been up to lately?

Giann's been addicted to Barney for a month now. And of course, Pau's still UBERLY busy with WoW, as seen in this photo.

middle photo - Giann intently watching Barney. third photo - every time a different song plays, this banner will appear on the screen with the song title and for some reason, each time Giann sees this banner he giggles, "heh!" Too cute! :P


And of course, there's Twilight for me! :D


And apparently, for Giann too! :P Haha he's beginning to take interests on other people's stuffs!

Giann's learning how to stand now. :)

Giann finally showing his teeth off for a photo! He's had teeth for like more than a month now but this is his first photo with them showing cause every time I'd try taking a photo of him smiling, teeth showing, he'd grab my phone and would put it in his mouth! Haha.

There you go. :)

xoxo

kindof

When you fall in love, it is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake, and then it subsides. And when it subsides, you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots are become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the desire to mate every second of the day. It is not lying awake at night imagining that he is kissing every part of your body. No... don't blush. I am telling you some truths. For that is just being in love; which any of us can convince ourselves we are. Love itself is what is left over, when being in love has burned away. Doesn't sound very exciting, does it?"

From "Captain Corelli's Mandolin"

you are the most important thing to me ever.

MYGOD HOW I LOVE TWILIGHT!

Read it or you're missing out! A hell lot.

Unlike Harry Potter that bored me to hell after a few chapters (sorry Ate and other HP fans!) Twilight kept me wanting more! I found it impossible to stop reading!

Someone buy me New Moon and Eclipse please please! :P

Other books I want to read (buy) are Brida by Paulo Coelho and Be With You by Takuji Ichikawa.

Ahh... One will never really forget her first love. And to me, that is READING. :)

Okay back to my Twilight Universe now! :P

xoxo

P.S. Has anyone tried Free Rice yet? ;)

advertisement :P

I am currently going gaga over

thankyouverymuch. :P

Charity + Vocabulary = I'm fixated.

OMG try it! ;) Super enjoy!

xoxo

cuteness

I hope Giann would be this cute when he grows up. Hehe. But I'm certain he'd be cuter! ;) Plus, he'd have fairer skin tone. And almond eyes. ♥

I'd definitely teach him "how NOT to close your eyes when you're having your photo taken!" Haha. And how to smile like he means it! :P Man, I can't wait for Giann to grow up! But at the same time, I can. :)

P.S. I can't be biased. Despite me not liking Pau the past days, I still think he looks cute in this photo.

xoxo

eternal thought.

Love in itself is great. But in some situations, I'm afraid it is not enough. Relationships need more than just love. It needs TIME and ATTENTION.

I wish love REALLY makes the world go round. Sadly, it does not. Love is grand, alright. But to build a life together and hold on to it forever, you have to have more than love.

It's true that people show love in different ways. And if my idea of loving is different from yours, we may have a problem. BUT exactly why there are such things as respect and communication and patience and understanding. If we lack those too, then we indeed have a problem.

Shall we move on and blame it all on midlife crisis?

I am not crying for myself and you know that. I am crying for the little boy who needs you.

a job NOT for me.

Let me just say one thing... I don't want to work for nobody's friggin government. Especially not this one's.

The only reason why I would even consider that is that the municipal hall is near home which means I'm a tricycle away from the one reason I want to get a job for. But dear god I didn't pursue masters degree to do nothing and be corrupt. I am not saying everyone who works for the government is corrupt and lazy. Maybe most of them. Plus yuck, "I work in a munisipyo." I am better than that. ;) Sorry.

So I told my mum about Pau's mum's suggestion and she was like, "eh puro mga student ko sa insert-school-here nakikita kong nagwowork dun eh!"

Your guess is as good as mine.

So thanks but no thanks. I'd rather do Marketing for a company that may not pay that big, but is decent and gives good benefits.

xoxo

sunburnt

Because I was so eager to go home yesterday, I talked Pau into riding a non-airconditioned bus. He was reluctant at first but when I'm eager, I won't take no for an answer and he knew it. So we rode a non-airconditioned Dela Rosa bus on our way home. I was super giddy as I felt the wind blowing on my face and I didn't mind that it would mess my hair up! I was happy and I felt like I was in a rollercoaster haha. But an hour on that bus ride and this is how my right arm looks like now:

We were seated on the side where the sun was shining. It was 2 in the afternoon! I love the sun and I would've liked it if he kissed me ALL OVER. Then I would have an early "summer skin." But instead, he made my right arm look like a chiffon slice. Grats me.

Now, Pau would tease me by singing "uling uling uling ulinglingling..." Before it was "chingching taba taba chingching..." Yeah, we watch those Sexbomb series on TV. :P

I am now officially a chiffon cake. thankyouverymuch.

Oh. Here's another photo. ;) NOT of my right arm!

I LOVE HIM TO BITS!

He's payat now cause he was sick (and was hospitalised) for a week. The reason why I wasn't an active blogger for days.

xoxo

thought #3

I don't know which is worse: The way I am or your perception of me.

And you're supposedly my better half.

Wow.

It's too painful to realise that the one who's supposedly supporting/loving/standing by you and fighting for you is just like the rest of them narrow-minded people you hate.

I married my mortal enemy.

Or maybe. I got it all wrong. Although I'm certain that he's the one who got it all messed up.

P.S. Thank you for slapping the past right back to my face.

Macikoy

Mum and Ate married their first loves. I didn't. But he'd always have a place in my heart. :)

I'd always be proud to talk about him (and his pagiging pasaway! haha!) and how he helped me be the strong, smart woman that I am today. *cough*

God knows how thankful I am for you, Macix! And wow, someone's getting old! :P

Us. 7 years ago. Wow.

Us. 4 years ago.

Us. A year ago, doing a re-enactment of My Bestfriend's Wedding :P

Happy happy birthday Panget! ;)

xoxo