conversations

I was in a cab on my way to Rockwell for a meeting when heavy rain poured. It was so heavy it's like they're screaming as they touch the windshield. I was irate. I never liked rains. They're too melancholic and they make me lethargic AND they soil my shoes. But this conversation transpired:

driver: ang lakas ng ulan ah...
me: oo nga eh.
*the driver then looked around and seemed like saw something that amazed him*
driver: tuwang-tuwa ang mga puno!

His comment made me look outside the window and observed the trees for good minutes. And for some reason, I agree with him. The trees really did look happy. And it made me smile.

The rain isn't so bad after all. :)

---

Tonight's the first time I'm going to miss a get together with my (boy) friends. I have 5 reasons:

1. Giann :)
2. I'm down with bad colds and sore throat.
3. It has been a really long week for me at work you'd think I'd be thrilled to celebrate the weekend but not really. Not that kind of celebration anyways.
4. I just don't feel like going out, watch them drink and hear all these WoW talks (until the wee hours) as if I haven't had enough of it.
5. I just want to stay at home, really.

Man I am so getting old! I'm starting to tone down. Not a bad thing, yeah? ;)

---

My friends when they learnt I'm heading home and not joining them for the night, whined.

Me: I have a baby to attend to! *points at Pau* He does not have one!

That made them laugh.

Reality's amusing, amazing and annoying all at the same time.

xoxo

the greatest

If I can be half the woman you are then I will consider myself successful.

Happy 46th birthday Mummy Lhai! ♥

I love you.

We love you.

wow how long has it been...

So I re-read my last entry and noticed that it has been 10 days since I last blog! The diligent office girl in me killed the super blogger!

Boo you KPMG Philippines for blocking Blogspot! :( (I know it's shameless marketing :P)

Oh. I should just update on Twitter then. :P During office hours that is.

Anyway, I really not have much to tell about my new job. I can easily sum it up in 4 words: I am swamped with work.

But weird as it may sound I am liking it. I actually have just one reason why I sometimes dislike my busy schedule...

Yeah you know it. :(

open letter

Dear Messrs. Policemen (Capt. Gabad and someone else as low as him of the Mobile Division of WPD along U.N. Avenue Manila):

If only you know how benevolent Pau is, you’d die in shame. Or wish that the earth would just swallow you whole so you won’t have to live with yourselves - with your corrupt, weak, asshole selves.

If only you know that not Pau nor Mac nor Mcnaire nor Bing do anything illegal except play WoW until the wee hours (in the normal world, everything in excess is bad, ergo to a certain degree, illegal), you’d stab yourselves and ten of your kin to death.

If only you know that Pau has never seen a real gun in his entire 23 years of living, much more own/use/hold one, you’d put your feet in your mouths.

If only you know that that fucking unlicensed gun under the driver seat of Pau’s car is REALLY to his irresponsible, drunkard uncle and was just unintentionally (because he was too drunk to remember) left at Pau’s car one time when he borrowed it because his own car was coding, you’d wish you were never born.

If only you’ve felt how scared and vulnerable and weak Pau was, or how Mcnaire tried to stop the tears from falling, or how Mac was just trying to be cool but was panicking, or how Bing was trembling…

If only you’ve seen Pau’s mum the time you were threatening her over the phone… She could barely hold herself up and was shaking uncontrollably.

If only you’ve felt my pain – for Pau and for Giann.

But really, thank God for corrupt assholes like you. If it was any different, Pau and our friends would have spent the next 8 years behind bars.

Screw Tito Allan and his carelessness.

But screw you more Messrs. Policemen, may you die a terrible death.

thankyouverymuch.

vow

I know I said I'm going back to work but I re-read this:


Still holds true.

photos photos

Giann makes any pain go away.

For the gazillionth time, thank god for him! ;)

Okay me going back to work! Yeah I brought some work home.

xoxo

because i'm the eternal sunshine girl...

I am thankful for my job.

Because now, I have a special reason to love the weekends MORE! ;)

BUT...

IT IS SO FRIGGIN TIRING OMG!!!

There I feel much better.

P.S. PMS is not helping any.

true story

It was one of the nights when Mac stayed here to play WoW. I was trying to put Giann to sleep - rocking him while singing him a lullaby. And believe me, when I sing him a lullaby, I do it real passionately haha. As if it's the most beautiful love song in the world. ;) Always does the trick!

M: Hindi ko ma-imagine na ganyan si V.
P: *laughs* Bakit?
M: Yung ganyan, pakanta-kanta, sayaw-sayaw... Parang hindi bagay, nyay!
Me: Naku, e di wag ka muna mag anak noh! Mahirap yan!
P: Eh bakit ba si Yeng? Iisipin mo bang magiging ganyan yan dati, sa arte nyan!
M: *laughs* sabagay.
Me: ano yun???
M: wala... *laughsharder*

Yes Pau and Mac, I heard you very well!!!

All I can say: you love me nonetheless. *flipshair*

for yesterday

Happy happy 24th birthday Ingolok!!! :D

Love,
your fellow nguyamyams! :P

---

You're NOT a mother. (unfortunately for you)

You're not living MY life.

You will NEVER ever come close. 'Nuff said.

You have NO idea.

So SHUT THE FUCK UP.

thankyouverymuch. :)

Unless you're someone I love and care about, your thoughts don't count. So don't bother. Save yourself the stress. Nobody wants to hear idiot. :)

moving on

I told Pau I don't want to live in this house anymore. I've told him that for like bazillion times already. He stormed out of the room and whined to his mum about how annoying and loud our neighbours are. Especially when they're doing friggin karaoke.

He just doesn't understand. He probably doesn’t listen to me intently enough.

It's not just the neighbourhood I despise. It's this house. Everything about it.

I don't like that it feels like we're just doing "bahay-bahayan." I've never been a wife to Pau. He's never been a husband to me. Thanks to everyone who lives in this house.

I don't like that my being a mother to Giann is being looked over because everyone in this house wants to be his mother. READ: I AM HIS MOTHER. 'Nuff said. My mum would say I should share the gift of Giann, after all, he's not really "mine" anyways. The BIG GUY just "lent" him to me. But of course I want to share my biggest blessing (Giann) but there are terms, limits and if you cross that line then I'd be a protective mother hen! There *is* a reason why he was "lent" to ME, you know.

I don’t like how sheltered we are in this house. It doesn’t give me room for independence, for growth - to make me fill the role I'm supposed to. If I was still the same pampered, immature, spoilt Yeng then I’d love to live here. But I’ve left that girl eight months ago.

Sadly, Pau still hasn’t.

I’m moving out of this house soon. And wherever I go, my son goes with me.

And that’s that.

P.S. You wouldn't believe the reason why Pau wants to stay here.