in memory of

I've had a pair of Havaianas even before they became a "hit" here in the Philippines. And god was I so proud when only a few weeks after my friends and I started strutting around the campus every Saturday wearing our stylish, comfy Havaianas, more "kulasas" started wearing them too! Screw Ms. Manila and her "no-slippers-inside-the-campus" policy. :P

My first pair was a Floral Bubblegum. I got them a week after I saw 99.5 HitFM's (DWRT then) Special Projects Director wearing a pair of the Light Blue ones. She's so much of a fashionista so she's like always ahead of everyone when it comes to "what's in." But anyways, that wasn't the reason why I bought a pair. After all, there can only be one Cheska in the group, right Nhe? :P I bought a pair because they looked so comfy! And I'm really a flip-flops girl! I wear flip-flops anywhere! Screw dress (or in this case, shoes) codes! :P But sadly, I lost that first pair a couple of years ago when I was swimming at the gorgeous beaches of Bohol. Lost it when they stopped making those designs. Sobs. But it was good 2 years with that pair, really.

And now. My second pair. A Chocolate Brown Top Havaianas.

(took photos straight from the shower)

I was in the shower and it came loose. :( Few minutes before I was just admiring how it looked perfectly on my feet, how much it complimented my skin tone (and my pussy red nail polish too!). Then just like that, without warning - it came off.

I rushed to the room with my poor broken Havaianas and showed it to Pau: "look what happened! This is my second pair! I've had this for years, I cannot even remember when!" I swear I almost cried! He offered his sympathy and was like, "why are you wearing it in the shower anyways? It can only handle the pressure of the water for so long! Or maybe, it's just that old."

Oh poor old Chocolate Brown Top Havaianas. I wear him EVERY DAY. It was my bedroom, living room, garage, shower, whatever-room, all-around slippers. :( I regret I stopped taking him to the shopping centre or anywhere fancy. I didn't know his time would be this short! Huhu.

My dear friend I'll miss you. Sure I can buy a new pair. Pau even promised he'd buy me a new one. But your comfort is one of a kind. :(

R.I.P. my most loved Chocolate Brown Top Havaianas. Sometime in 2004-February 25, 2008.

2 down, 2 to go.

yes?

"Some people believe that without history, our lives amount to nothing. At some point we all have to choose: do we fall back on what we know, or do we step forward to something new? It's hard not to be haunted by our past. Our history is what shapes us... what guides us. Our history resurfaces time after time after time. So we have to remember sometimes the most important history is the history we’re making today. " - Meredith, Grey's Anatomy

Ah. I love them script writers.

i was like, "wtf is your friggin problem?"

SCENARIO

After dinner, I went inside the room before Pau.

After good 3 minutes, he followed, looked at his monitor and was all irate. "Sabi ko sayo ayusin mo ako eh!" (pertaining to his WoW character)

So I was confused, "ay sorry. Hindi ko alam. Anong ayusin?"

Him: "db sinabi ko sayo, dalin mo ko sa kanila?!" (to the other characters)

Me: *annoyed* "Hindi ko narinig na sinabi mo yun!"

Him: "kahit na, nakita mo na nga na nakatayo lang ako dito at walang ginagawa!" (ako being his character)

I was like D-U-H. I was only three minutes ahead of you! Does that make that MUCH difference? If any, at all. AND FOR ONE, THAT’S JUST ONE FUCKING GAME FUCKING US BOTH. thankyouverymuch.

And then now he’s like really annoyed at me. Like wow, is it *THAT* important to be that mad? IS IT EVEN FRIGGIN IMPORTANT? I-FUCKING-THINK-FUCKING-NOT.

Yes, this is one of those rare times you’d hear (read) me swear. Because I swear to all that is holy, Pau’s just beyond… reason.

Good night.

Note to self: Blog Rage is not healthy and thus, must be avoided. So I'm sorry beautiful blog, I will try my best to not let this happen again.

wow can this be any more true!

Your view on yourself:

You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:
You like to flirt and behave seductively. The opposite sex finds this very attractive, and that's why you'll always have admirers hanging off your arms. But how serious are you about choosing someone to be in a relationship with?

Your views on education
Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:
You have plenty of dream jobs but have little chance of doing any of them if you don't focus on something in particular. You need to choose something and go for it to be happy and achieve success.

How do you view success:
You are confident that you will be successful in your chosen career and nothing will stop you from trying.

What are you most afraid of:
You are afraid of things that you cannot control. Sometimes you show your anger to cover up how you feel.

Who is your true self:
You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

Thanks Gen for the link! :)

I am Mother.

If there's one thing I learnt from being a mother it is that I have to be thankful of Giann more than he should be thankful of me. Sure I did risk my life for him, went through all the cons pregnancy and post pregnancy have to offer. And sure I've sacrificed a hell lot because of (and for) him. Then again, all those are nothing compared to what he's brought (and still bringing) in my life.

Because of Giann, I've learnt to be responsible and mature. Those two adjectives can never go with my name before I had him, but now, I am those. I've realised that I have to be an "extra" person because a little boy is clinging his life to me. I have to be extra patient, careful, thoughtful and smart because someone's depending on me. It's overwhelming if you think about it but I would never trade it for ANYTHING or ANYONE else in the world.

It's true that motherhood isn't as "elegant" as it seems. It is NOT easy. And I have to learn that every single day as I tend to Giann. It's an every hour, every minute process for me. Motherhood teaches me things I will NEVER ever learn from graduate school or in the corporate world. Example? NOTHING IS GREATER THAN YOUR OWN CHILD'S GIGGLES!

The late Heath Ledger couldn't have expressed parenting any better when he said: "You're forced into, kind of, respecting yourself more. You learn more about yourself through your child, I guess. I think you also look at death differently. It's like a catch 22: I feel good about dying now because I feel like I'm alive in her, you know, but at the same hand, you don't want to die because you want to be around for the rest of her life."

I have discovered a lot about myself because of Giann. He's helping me get to know myself better as we spend each and every day together. Amazing how a little, innocent person can have so much impact in someone's life!

God how glad I am that I'm a mother. There are heaps of things and events in my life that I would've done differently, but having Giann is not one of them. It is the most right thing I have EVER done. Words can never do justice to how much I love my son. He's my joy, love, pride and ultimate little guy in the whole Universe. :)

So thank you Giann for coming into mummy's life. You make me lose sleep and stress me at times but I will never ever EVER want it any other way. :)

I love you Boching! ♥

P.S. speaking of Giann, his two lower teeth are visible now! That when I give him my finger to bite, it's impossible not to scream "ouch!" and it would make him giggle more. Haha.

xoxo
the proud SuperMum

25

Thank you to Mr. and Mrs. Dubery for bringing an amazingly wonderful man into this world exactly 25 years ago today.

Happy birthday Charles! :)

P.S. Yep no photo of him to go with the greeting. That's the way it is. ;)

xoxo

believe

I've never really been religious. In fact, my faith is pretty much all over the place. But I need to believe in this more than ever - God is a happy God. :)

And He wouldn't make us cry for no good reason.

So there.

xoxo

SuperDad

Tomorrow dad leaves yet again. So the little Buyigyig in me is crying. 17 years and it still brings me to tears. I guess there are some things I will never be too old for. Crying every time dad goes away is one of them.

I understand the cliche about goodbye and loving (or something like that) because of my dad. When he says goodbye it means he loves us. Very truly deeply profoundly much.

And we love him too.

I love him. So much.

*wipestears*

xoxo

L♥ve

So I know it's already the 15th but I can't be bothered earlier! And after all, it's the thought that counts! :P

Happy love's day everyone! :)

xoxo

depressing

This made me cry.

Sad noh?

"You're the one I want to grow old with."

How will you ever go through life without the person who thinks/wants that of you?

Note to self: I should read happier articles/news!

So yes Be, where's my Gossip Girl series? :P

breaking up is hard to do!

Happy 1st anniversary!

Happy/overwhelming/sad/tiring/life-altering/depressing/worthy 1st wedding anniversary!

The past year is definitely not perfect. And somehow along the way it stopped being happy. But we'll get there. We promised that. And one thing this relationship has taught me is that sometimes people break promises, but that doesn't mean they can't make up for it, doesn't make the promise less true, or far. People make mistakes. But people learn. And when you really want to make things work out with someone, you'd always find a way to forgive and accept them. Because that's what love is. Whether people call that stupid or crazy.

I know we'll get there. We will make us get there. Giann will help us along the way. :)

Thank you for loving me, despite and in spite of. For being patient and understanding. I know I'm hardest to deal with. But you've stuck with me for 10 long years! Unbelievable! :P

Happy anniversary Paulo! I love you.

xoxo

P.S. I'm sorry.

breakdown

Pau's out for the night. Surprisingly, it stirs negative emotions. I thought it wouldn't bother me. After all, when he's home, he's just in front of his computer most of the time. It used to be ALL the time! But yeah, here I am now, in front of mine and I'm missing staring at his back when he's playing WoW on that goddamn computer.

And that's about it.

xoxo

when when when!!!

When do you draw a line?

When do you turn your back, walk away and raise your head up high?

When do you stop the tears from flowing?

When do you choose and stand by it?

When do you let go?

When do you stop dancing to the music?

When do you say 'enough' and actually mean it?

When do you stop believing?

FRIGGIN WHEN?

So of course you cannot relate. But whatever. Those questions aren't really intended for no one in particular, anyways. But yeah.

Sighs.

Oh. Also, someone told me this couple of years ago. "After all, the best kind of love is the one that makes you go crazy." He didn't mean it. NOT AT ALL. But. I still believe in it. :)

Love,
Me!

la-la-looove!

I am a sucker for love stories. That's a well-known fact. I especially love those that end with "happily ever after." Well, actually, I most love those that don't end at all. ;) But one particular love story I won't get tired of listening to over and over is my parents'. After all, it is that story that brought me here! :P

And today we celebrate the 26th year of that love story! WOOHOO! ;)

Happy 26th wedding anniversary to my heroes! :)

For love, laughter and happy ever after! *cheerios*

NOTE: The world will be a much better place if we have lots of Dans and Lhais, really. ;)

reminder :)

All I really need to know about how to live and what to do and how to be I learned in kindergarten. Wisdom was not at the top of the graduate school mountain, but there in the sand pile at school.

These are the things I learned:

• Share everything.
• Play fair.
• Don't hit people.
• Put things back where you found them.
• Clean up your own mess.
• Don't take things that aren't yours.
• Say you're sorry when you hurt somebody.
• Wash your hands before you eat.
• Flush.
• Warm cookies and cold milk are good for you.
• Live a balanced life - learn some and think some and draw and paint and sing and dance and play and work every day some.
• Take a nap every afternoon.
• When you go out in the world, watch out for traffic, hold hands and stick together.
• Be aware of wonder. Remember the little seed in the Styrofoam cup: the roots go down and the plant goes up and nobody really knows how or why, but we are all like that.
• Goldfish and hamsters and white mice and even the little seed in the Styrofoam cup - they all die. So do we.
• And then remember the Dick-and-Jane books and the first word you learned - the biggest word of all - LOOK.

Everything you need to know is in there somewhere. The Golden Rule and love and basic sanitation. Ecology and politics and equality and sane living.

Take any one of those items and extrapolate it into sophisticated adult terms and apply it to your family life or your work or government or your world and it holds true and clear and firm. Think what a better world it would be if we all - the whole world - had cookies and milk at about 3 o'clock in the afternoon and then lay down with our blankies for a nap. Or if all governments had as a basic policy to always put things back where they found them and to clean up their own mess.

And it is still true, no matter how old you are, when you go out in the world, it is best to hold hands and stick together.

Thanks SOURCE

ironic

I'm sad. In pain. But I can't find the words to tell you.

And I thought I'm only writing-disabled when I am enormously happy.

Lesson: Well, aside from always remembering what your teacher taught you in kindergarten, NEVER expect. :)

There.