upside down!

This ultimately made up for my super bad yesterday:

I lie awake and watch your shoulders
move so softly as you breath
with every breath
you're growing older
but that is fine if you're with me
I pledge to wake you with a smile
I pledge to hold you when you cry
I pledge to love you until I die

Yay! ♥ Best ever. EVER.

xoxo

working mum

So I am here at the office. It’s lunch time so I can surf. :P I must say I’m doing fine. Good actually. :) And I just called the maid and found out that my little boy is sleeping. I am relieved. Also, a text message from Pau (and Giann :P) helped a great deal. Thanks daddy and baby! :)

My officemates are as nice as officemates can get. We just went through the whole “lunch-together-let’s-talk-about-the-newbie” session. :P It was… relieving and refreshing in some way. I also like one of Honda’s Central HR, Ms. K is super nice! She’s also a Kulasa! Figures! :P Haha.

It feels good to be working again. Although hmm… I know I have yet to experience “real" work in a few weeks, I am not appalled. I say bring it on! ;)

P.S. I do miss Giann but I know I should not worry too much.

Love,
the working super mum

happy/sad

Tomorrow I am beginning a new life yet again. I will be part of the corporate world after missing it for more than a year. My heart hasn't been fully convinced that it is the right thing to do. I only have one reason: Giann. I know that starting tomorrow, I will miss most parts of his infancy. I will leave the house while he's sleeping and go home when he's already asleep. That routine for 5 straight days of the week. That thought alone makes me cry. I will miss giving Giann a bath and his giggles when I pour lukewarm water on his body. I will miss sleeping with him on my chest at noon. I am not very much comfortable with the fact that I will leave him to the maid. That even if it's the same maid that raised his father. Because I want to be the one who's there for him, not someone who's paid to do so. And because, Pau and Giann, although they are father-son are two different people. Very different to some extent, actually. So yeah.

I've always believed I am not made for house work. Therefore I cannot be a house wife. I don't know how I can reconcile that with the fact that I just want to stay at home for Giann. Only until after his formative stage. Then of course I want to be productive as a person. :)

But I am given this opportunity now, and I don't want to pass on it anymore. I want to raise Giann alright. And I realised that raising him also means providing for his needs, financially speaking. Of course there's Pau's mum and my ever loving and supportive parents but Giann is MY son, not theirs. Over and above anyone, he is MY responsibility. And as I've said before, one thing having Giann taught me is how to be responsible and mature.

I know Giann will be fine. I'm sure he'd be a good boy even without me to look after him most of the time. One thing that gives me hope is Mama and how she's always been a working mum but has never been less of a mother for us. If she's done (and still doing it) for more than 25 years, I know I can too. After all, she raised me. I'd like to believe I've been endowed with her strength if only a little. :P Also, I choose to believe that dad is right when he said, "mas maalagaan mo si Giann kapag may work ka na." It doesn't make perfect sense. But it does make sense. :)

I am still worried that's the truth. And I am fighting back tears as I write this. But I am mother and I am strong. :) Giann will be fine. And I know I will be too. :)

P.S. I cannot deny that I am kind of excited to work again though.

---

Happy happy birthday to my most favourite and loved cousin, Kuya Kim! :)

I love you!

xoxo

hmm...

So this is "convenience." How alien this feeling is to me.

I'd choose inconvenience anytime.

But probably not tonight.

Maybe.

A's

So what have we been up to lately?

Giann's been addicted to Barney for a month now. And of course, Pau's still UBERLY busy with WoW, as seen in this photo.

middle photo - Giann intently watching Barney. third photo - every time a different song plays, this banner will appear on the screen with the song title and for some reason, each time Giann sees this banner he giggles, "heh!" Too cute! :P


And of course, there's Twilight for me! :D


And apparently, for Giann too! :P Haha he's beginning to take interests on other people's stuffs!

Giann's learning how to stand now. :)

Giann finally showing his teeth off for a photo! He's had teeth for like more than a month now but this is his first photo with them showing cause every time I'd try taking a photo of him smiling, teeth showing, he'd grab my phone and would put it in his mouth! Haha.

There you go. :)

xoxo

kindof

When you fall in love, it is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake, and then it subsides. And when it subsides, you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots are become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the desire to mate every second of the day. It is not lying awake at night imagining that he is kissing every part of your body. No... don't blush. I am telling you some truths. For that is just being in love; which any of us can convince ourselves we are. Love itself is what is left over, when being in love has burned away. Doesn't sound very exciting, does it?"

From "Captain Corelli's Mandolin"