Friday, July 18, 2008

catholic girl

I don't want to be an Iglesia ni Cristo.

But if I don't "join" them, Pau will get "kicked-out" of the religion he's believed in and loved all his life. It will torment him. And I can't take that.

But I don't want to be an Iglesia ni Cristo. For various reasons. I never realised how much I don't want to be an INC member until Pau told me tonight that I'm going to be doctrined starting tomorrow morning. I cried. But I didn't let him know. I cried because I don't want to be doctrined. I don't want to be a part of something I don't believe in. Catholicism is not perfect, sure. But Iglesia ni Cristo is just... different. It's alien to me. And no I don't want to learn about it. I tried to buy more time. I was like, "can't I be doctrined after I finish my masters degree? Then I don't have to worry about anything else but attending those sessions Wednesdays and Sundays." I am desperate. I'll sing and dance and eat fire if only it'll buy me more time!

But I don't want Pau to lose his religion. He's the man that he is because of it. And Pau's a good man. Like really.

Oh what am I going to do?

I cried and I am crying.

Someone help me make sense of this. Please. :(


2 comments:

Anonymous said...

hi yeng,
i guess you really have to think why you dont want to be an INC. it could be simple reasons like you dont like the environment of their church or their teachings ... or is it because you feel like you are betraying the God you believed in and loved all your life? if its bcoz of the simple things, then i guess you simply have to live with it .. i know its easier said than done. but when you first agreed to join him in INC, you know that its part of it, right?
but if it's because of deeper religion issues/reasons ... the best think i could say to you is that you continue to believe the God that's inside your heart. no one or no teachings can shaken your beliefs if you have strong faith in your Creator. having said that, you should have an open mind in regards with other religious beliefs ... not saying that you should abide them, but just listen to it and give respect so they would also respect yours. then peace will come in :)
goodluck!
xoxo,
ateKat

Super Little Mum said...

thanks ate kat. :)

but i don't think i can fully respect a religion that doesn't respect other religions too.

i respect pau's beliefs. but he can never make me believe in it.

there's just one God. doesn't matter what and how we choose to call him, yeah? :)