it turns blue

I realised that one cannot be 7 months pregnant and have two jobs at the same time.

Last night, I dozed off while putting Giann to sleep. I actually slept before him! I missed all of my classes. :( I feel terribly bad about it. But I was so tired, and I am a mother more than anything else so I need to attend to Giann first. Commuting to Makati/Manila is something I'm not used to do anymore. So each and every time is super duper tiring for me. I find myself falling asleep while in transit, that even if I get ample sleep the night before!

So today I'm going to ask the Korean manager if she can change my schedule or if I can take a leave for a month. I really don't want to leave teaching. I am very much enjoying it. It is something I've been wanting to do since I was a little girl. And it makes me all warm inside every time my students call me "Teacher" and when they heed my advice (even if they're like decades older than me!) You know I've always believed there's something very noble about teaching. But I've never felt what it's like until I started teaching. The feeling of accomplishment it gives me is not the same as when I finished an important event for a company. The latter is nothing compared to hearing the enthusiasm on my students' voice each and every time we have class. I love teaching, no doubt about that. It's in my blood. But it's wearing me out. And taking so much of my precious time with Giann. It shouldn't be the case if I'm not back working for The Firm. But I am so I need to make a few adjustments. Keeping two jobs isn't working well for me - not good for Giann-time and definitely not good for the little baby inside my tummy as well.

I've no more time for anything else anymore ever since this whole thing started! I don't even know when to squeeze in my check-ups/lab tests, Giann's vaccination and paying of bills. I don't even have enough time to deposit money to the bank!

ARGH.

xoxo