out of my blood

Just recently I've been having these weird, insane, overanalysed thoughts that I should quit teaching. NOT because I don't want to teach anymore nor I've gotten so depressed about how little I get every month (because I tend not to let this bother me and just sigh it off) but because maybe, I am not cut for teaching.

I don't know. Maybe because I'm not old fashioned? I'm not tall enough? Not learned enough? Not strict enough? Because I'm giggly and funny and bubbly? I guess it's because when I look at the people I 'work' with, they all look so professional - they wear 'ternos' (you know, the ones traditional teachers wear), high heels and make up. They seem so strict and stern and I know I look fresh and fun and my clothes are fashionable.

It's hard to move in an environment where people's concept of your profession is sooo goddamn traditional.

I am not saying that my mum is old fashioned and boring and strict because she isn't! She's cool and funny but she teaches in a more 'open' University where professors aren't as well...old, as my colleagues. Or at least I think so.

And I don't know, maybe because when I look at myself, I don't see a teacher. I see someone who can do a lot of other things - events, marketing, writing, advertising. I am not saying that I feel my talents are wasted because I'm teaching. Definitely not. Teaching is such a noble profession - helping students achieve their highest potential and all those noble things but I don't know, sometimes I feel like I am not inspiring enough. Sometimes I feel like I cannot handle the responsiblity of helping these kids be the best that they can be. Sometimes I feel like I am not enough - not smart enough, not strict enough, not old enough, not 'uncool' enough...not a 'teacher' enough.

But I guess this is just an effect of some hormones gone haywire.

Maybe in the next few days I'll be able to shrug this off. I hope. :-)

Mothers I adore

Lhai Recalde Taylan. I've always said that if I become half the mother and woman my mum is then I'd consider myself successful. But from where I stand now I realise that if I do just that, I'd end up disappointing her. I realised that a mother would always want her children to go way beyond her achievements and to dream bigger than her dreams. So Ma, I will follow your path, but I promise to go way beyond you've ever dreamed of. :) Thank you for being my inspiration. Thank you for being the strongest, smartest, funniest, coolest, most beautiful, most supportive and most understanding mother anyone could ever have. (Anyone who truly knows my mum will definitely agree with me.) I would like to believe I've inherited your one-of-a-kind strength and for that, thank you. :) I love you very much. ♥

Michelle Taylan Suarez. My Ate has always been a mother-figure even before she had Kylie. She stood as a second mother to me, Shobe and EJ in more ways than she could ever imagine. As a sister she's strict, protective, generous and caring. As a mother she's even better! :) Kylie is one lucky angel for having ate as her mother. Ate is luckier for being her mother. ;) I love you, Ate Mich! :D


Vanessa Abainza Arinsol. We were a few weeks away from graduating from college when my best friend learnt she was carrying Enzo, but unlike other girls our age, she didn't cower. She stood taller than ever as if saying, "bring it on!" Nhe is a fighter. She's independent and carefree and not sweet! :-P But I'm sure as hell she's the sweetest mother to Enzo! :) And I love her much!


Khristine Machuca Esguerra. My good friend from college, Chickie, is a girl blessed with the power of being motherly in nature. Even back in college, there's something in her that made me believe she'd make a good mother. I'm sure the cutie Bettina will agree with me! ;)


Denden Recalde Chua. My Tita Den is someone I really admire. She's superbly loving and caring to Ishee and Boyboy and despite some problems she's encountered, she remains strong for her children. She will do anything and everything for them. It takes a great deal of strength and love to keep a family together and my Tita Den is such a strong woman (I think it runs in our blood!) She's one ideal "Naynay" and she is one of my inspirations. :)


Connie Marie Arinque. Truth is, Connie isn't a mum yet but she belongs to the "Mothers I adore" list simply because she's got all the attributes that make a good mother. :) She's patient, supportive, caring, loving, selfless, thrifty and smart. Our teenage students love her, which one way or another, reflects how her future children will look up to her. ;) She claimed on her mother's-day-card for me that I actually stand as a mother to her. The thing is, she stands like a mother to me, too! She helps me go to places I haven't been to and teaches me things I've never heard of before. She inspires me to work harder because she is such a good teacher, I feel ashamed to be any less. I haven't told you Mads, but you've been nothing but a positive influence on me. And for that I am really grateful. :) I love you!

Other mothers I truly love and look up to:

Agnes Recalde Valmores & Kathryn Valmores Aguilar. Mama Ness and Ate Kath are mothers I adore because they are beautiful and strong (as I said, it runs in our blood! :P).

Katherine Bacosa. I know of many women who got pregnant at such an early age and right after giving birth, forgot about their kids. Kath is the exact opposite. She's living a beautiful life in a different country yet she's never forgotten about her son here in the Philippines. This made me respect and love her more. :)

Nina Recalde Garcia. Because I know she'll move heaven and hell for Dhona and Dhonell! :) I admire Tita Nina because she's strong, selfless and beautiful.

Baybee Recalde Collao. Because despite and in spite of, her love for life and her kids has remained as steadfast as ever. Some of life's beautiful and bitter lessons I've learned from my Tita Baybee.

the super SUPER MUM!

xoxo

FINALLY!

Updates updates!

I've been down with really bad fever since a week ago. Well, today makes it a week and a day. The fourth day of the fever, ugly allergies appeared and I had to take antihistamines to make it better. The fifth day my breasts were swelling. The other days I've no other symptom than really high fever. 

It's not urinary tract infection. It's not wound infection. My allergies are all better now. And my breasts aren't as engorged anymore. I've no reason to have a fever. But my temperature is still 38.8 C. I don't know what's up with that.

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My Aunties and cousins from Canada are here for vacation!

Hoorah for good times! :)

Although, I won't be able to go malling with them. I won't even be able to attend a planned swimming party to celebrate mum and cousin Donna's birthdays!

But oh well. 

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I had my hair cut! Because mum said I look really "losyang" with super thick, long hair that's always tied up in a bun. She said I'm not taking care of myself enough. It's nice that I am spending my whole time taking care of Giann & Red but she's right when she said that in order to take care of them better and longer, I need to take care of myself too.

I don't always take her advice because I like to do things my way, but I took this one. :P

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Booyahs:

Ate Kat, we're waiting for you na and for Kuya Pat too! :)

Ate, we miss you here. :(

xoxo

doodle doodle doo

unpublished posts

I will never be too old for doodles. 

xoxo

he was so into me!

So I re-read "He's Just Not That Into You" and it made me cry.

Last I read it was like 4 years ago and I didn't put much weight on what it has to say.

But now, it sprang tears. 

P.S. I'm adding a new blog on this URL. 

xoxo