One of Yahoos!'s feature articles of the day is entitled "Are "Should" and "Ought" Blocking Your Path to Love?" So of course I quickly clicked on the link and read through it. :P Not that I have lots of shoulds and oughts; just that anything about love interests me . And I have to admit that in the past, I've had lots of relationship mistakes brought by "shoulding" and "oughting." Yeah, I was young once thankyouverymuch.
Here are some of the things the author talked about:
1. "I should be thinking about my Sweetheart 24/7 or I must not be in love." Odd as it may sound, some people never feel the intoxicating sensations we think of as "being in love." The ability to fall in love is on a continuum: Some people fall in and out of love very easily, some people never do.
I don't know about some people but I wouldn't want to be thinking about the one I love 24/7. Or at least not consciously. I mean, when you really love someone, why do you even have to make an effort to put them in your mind? When you really love someone, you can go out and do other things - study, work, play, have fun with friends while still "thinking" about the one you love. Because see, how can you love someone who distracts you from doing other important things? The point is, when you really love someone, they just won't leave you alone. Haha. They're always on your mind, not to distract you but to inspire you - to always remind you that you should always do your best in everything you do. And, if you're really in-love with someone, you'd never have to force yourself to feel as the author calls them, intoxicating sensations for that someone.
2. "I should know if he (or she) is the right one for me." Of course there are better or worse choices, but assuming that your date meets your criteria of "good person" and the two of you enjoy each other, seem compatible, and don't irritate the heck out of each other, what more do you need?
Plain and simple: how do you even know if he's the right one? Until now, I don't know how to answer this (or if I even should). Someone once told me that in this world you'd meet lots of Mr. Rights. Yes, Mr. Right is not just one. You can have 5 Mr. Rights, 7 or even 10. It is up to you to determine which Mr. Right you'd rather be with - which Mr. Right is worth it all.
3. "We should share the same ... (fill in the blank)." One of the wonderful parts about finding a life partner is all the things that he or she knows and you don't, or is and you are not. Think of what you can learn from the differences. Or what you won't have to learn because your partner already knows. Yes, some similarity is good, but why would you want someone just like you?
I just couldn't agree more with this last one. I read it and was like A-M-E-N. Haha. Seriously, although it would be nice to share the same passion, I believe having differences makes the relationship, well, less boring. How boring your life would be if you're with someone whom you can never learn anything from. Imagine if there's nothing in life your partner can share to you because "duh, I know what you know. I want what you want." I am not saying it's bad to share the same passion with your partner. Of course it would be best to be enjoying the same thing every now and then. Just that, differences can make the flame of your relationship last longer. You just have to know how to work them out. ;)
I've said it one too many times, I am not a relationship guru. I am not a romance coach and I definitely am not a love expert. But I've had my share of failed relationships and lessons learned when it comes to matters of the heart so I am very opinionated about it. Well, I guess I am about a lot of things. :P
You can read the rest of Kathryn Lord's article here.
xoxo
Here are some of the things the author talked about:
1. "I should be thinking about my Sweetheart 24/7 or I must not be in love." Odd as it may sound, some people never feel the intoxicating sensations we think of as "being in love." The ability to fall in love is on a continuum: Some people fall in and out of love very easily, some people never do.
I don't know about some people but I wouldn't want to be thinking about the one I love 24/7. Or at least not consciously. I mean, when you really love someone, why do you even have to make an effort to put them in your mind? When you really love someone, you can go out and do other things - study, work, play, have fun with friends while still "thinking" about the one you love. Because see, how can you love someone who distracts you from doing other important things? The point is, when you really love someone, they just won't leave you alone. Haha. They're always on your mind, not to distract you but to inspire you - to always remind you that you should always do your best in everything you do. And, if you're really in-love with someone, you'd never have to force yourself to feel as the author calls them, intoxicating sensations for that someone.
2. "I should know if he (or she) is the right one for me." Of course there are better or worse choices, but assuming that your date meets your criteria of "good person" and the two of you enjoy each other, seem compatible, and don't irritate the heck out of each other, what more do you need?
Plain and simple: how do you even know if he's the right one? Until now, I don't know how to answer this (or if I even should). Someone once told me that in this world you'd meet lots of Mr. Rights. Yes, Mr. Right is not just one. You can have 5 Mr. Rights, 7 or even 10. It is up to you to determine which Mr. Right you'd rather be with - which Mr. Right is worth it all.
3. "We should share the same ... (fill in the blank)." One of the wonderful parts about finding a life partner is all the things that he or she knows and you don't, or is and you are not. Think of what you can learn from the differences. Or what you won't have to learn because your partner already knows. Yes, some similarity is good, but why would you want someone just like you?
I just couldn't agree more with this last one. I read it and was like A-M-E-N. Haha. Seriously, although it would be nice to share the same passion, I believe having differences makes the relationship, well, less boring. How boring your life would be if you're with someone whom you can never learn anything from. Imagine if there's nothing in life your partner can share to you because "duh, I know what you know. I want what you want." I am not saying it's bad to share the same passion with your partner. Of course it would be best to be enjoying the same thing every now and then. Just that, differences can make the flame of your relationship last longer. You just have to know how to work them out. ;)
I've said it one too many times, I am not a relationship guru. I am not a romance coach and I definitely am not a love expert. But I've had my share of failed relationships and lessons learned when it comes to matters of the heart so I am very opinionated about it. Well, I guess I am about a lot of things. :P
You can read the rest of Kathryn Lord's article here.
xoxo
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