on being a mum

If there’s anything that annoys Pau the most, it is when I refuse to play WoW with him to take care of Giann. He’s immature like that. I am immature in a lot of ways too, but I am a mother, and that makes all the difference. Pau prolly thinks I’ve became so un-cool and so uninteresting ever since I gave birth. Haha. Because for the time being, I’ve lost interest in ANYTHING that has nothing to do with Giann. (Let’s blame post-partum depression for that!) Pau would always argue that Giann doesn’t have two maids for nothing. But see, I want to be there for Giann. I want to be a mother – in all its essence and glory. Why would I want for anyone to enjoy giving him a bath when I can do so myself? Maids are there to tend to Giann when I cannot – when I need to shower or eat or go somewhere else or when I finally get a job. But when I am home, I want to be the one looking after my son – play with him, carry him, see him giggle, comfort him when he’s crying. He’s only gonna be an infant once in this lifetime and I want to make the most out of it. I want to be there during this time when he still needs me for everything! Cause like before I know it, he’s gonna learn how to stand on his own; he won’t need me to carry him anymore. Sooner or later he’d learn how to get his own food; he won’t need me to prepare it for him. He’d be able to take a bath all by himself; I’d miss seeing him giggle whenever I pour lukewarm water all over his body. Before I even realize it, he’s gonna be a toddler, then an adolescent, a teenager, an adult! As he grows up, he’ll need me less and less so I want to focus most of my time on him now that he needs me to do everything for him. I know as each day passes I’d learn how to let him loose in order for him to grow. But for the meantime, I’d keep a steady, loving eyes on him.

xoxo